I finally realised why..!

..It was my escape. The only way to be away from this was to be there...in that place and now that it's gone...it's hard to put the pieces back together...too hard.

Yes it was fake...but it took me away from all of this...I need to be taken away...or for it to be taken away...to slowly fade away and be gone because it's just to hard.

People always say that life will never be what you expected it to be...and mine could not be farther from what I expected and what I wanted....it is nothing compared to my dream.

It is empty.

<3